Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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