"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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