"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
