Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
