he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He better not be in your backpack
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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