it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
