If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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