Whod you bang
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
