So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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