ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I think my fart just growled at me.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
