I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i will never coherently bang her
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
