:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
