I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
