I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize