You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
