he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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