It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
they need to just BURY HIM!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
