I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
