I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
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Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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