went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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