Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
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