He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
