dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
