Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
its liver damage thursday
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
