I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
