So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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