Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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