where am i from again
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
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She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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