drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I AM VODKA MAN
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
