he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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