it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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