but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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