i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
