hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
