He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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