So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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