If that was your dad, he is hot
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize