it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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