Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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