How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
