I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
