she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize