Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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