Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Pooping to opera.
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