david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
operation have a gay friend backfired
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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