I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
