I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I didn't notice because vodka
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
