we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
