Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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