youre lurking in front of me
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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