I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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