I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize