David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
