No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
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