Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Randomize
