I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
