my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
