CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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