you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
