my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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