some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize