non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
it glows. i had to have it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just forgot I was standing up.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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