So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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