That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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