And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
