I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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