just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
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Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
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I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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