im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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